Is it bad enough to cut yourself some slack? Why? Because in order for you to get to where you want to go, you need to loosen up. Stick with me here and I will explain why.
I discovered, the hard way, by personal experience, that most people who want success, including myself, are too hard on themselves. Subsequently, when they screw up, they come down on themselves very hard. In fact, in most cases, too hard.
Nobody likes to be criticized or yelled at. Most people pull in their horns and go back to being their own little quiet selves. You know what I am talking about. “Gee, I am sorry. I didn’t mean to make any nasty waves.”
Can you imagine people at the top of their game coming off with that kind of statement? How about Ted Turner. Can you imagine him saying, ” I’m sorry…”?
What makes us act and think this way? Specifically, the problem relates to our self-image, our comfort zone, and fear. Most of us, who want success, have these three forces of nature working against us.
Mr. Fear is always in the game. You can believe it. He knows his territory and his interests and he doesn’t let anybody or anything get in his way. Ironically, Mr. Fear believes your best interests are his best interests.
Your self-image and your comfort zone are really the same thing. The image you have of yourself, your stand operation procedure, is the boundary you have unconsciously established for yourself as a “comfy” place to be. As long as you don’t leave that self-imposed boundary, your comfort zone, everything is nice, warm and comfortable.
Trouble begins when you start pushing your comfort zone boundary or self-image. Then, your enforcer and and comfort zone protector,Mr. Fear, steps up to the plate and lets you know in no uncertain terms that you are asking for trouble, especially when you want success.
Mr. Fear does this by giving you lots of anxiety and nervousness. You may find the rationale behind all of this by reading Maxwell Maltz’s book on Psycho-Cybernetics.
The point is, if you really want to fly and grow in your lifetime, you need to quit dwelling on your mistakes and imperfections. Cut yourself some slack. Learn to like yourself and forgive yourself.
Why is this important? The answer is very simple. If you are a grade C player now and you want to be a grade A player, then you must begin doing and thinking like a grade A player.
This means you are going to be living and working in unfamiliar territory. And, until you get familiar and comfortable with your new surroundings, you are going to be making mistakes. And yes, your old enemy, Mr. Fear is going to be close by whispering in your ear all of his cautionary tales of woe.
Now, this is where life gets interesting. Once Fear gets his claws into you, believe me, he will, you must keep your eye and emotions on your goal. Don’t let the Sirens of Fear get you down and beat you. Unfortunately, there is no immunization for fear.
What you can do is realize what is happening to you. Understand why you experiencing anxiety, self-doubt and fear. Try to grab onto your inner resources of hope and inspiration. Don’t be afraid to express your worries to friends that are of a similar trend of thought as yourself.
I personally, went through a new and stressful experience, similar to what I have mentioned.
Specifically, I decided I should volunteer for my local community Emergency Squad. We answer rescue calls for people that are sick. We meet and greet them with an ambulance. We are First Responders. Yes, and I want success.
During my learning curve, I have been very uptight about learning all of the new things required of a First Responder. I even doubted by decision to do this volunteer stuff.
Well, I have hung in there, and now things are beginning to come together. Subsequently, I feel more relaxed in this new and challenging environment.
But, for a while, I was scared stiff that I was going to make mistakes and look like a fool. Remember, I want success.
I am learning to relax and cut myself some slack. Who knows, maybe someday I will be a world class First Responder!